Reassurance
by JadeMac2442
Summary: At the end of Risky Business (s05,e13), Reid gets teased by some of the rest of his team. He goes very quiet, which is unusual for Reid. This takes place at the end of that conversation.


"There's a lot to hate about you Dr Reid." Emily said, shaking her head. She looked exasperated at him. But then, people often did.

"Trying playing poker with him," Rossi interjected.

"Or chess." Morgan shouted.

"Or go." Garcia lamented.

* * *

Spencer stared at his hands. Don't look up. Don't look up. Don't look up.

He made himself wait for a a full twenty count before he swallowed against the weight in his throat. And then he lowered his chin, letting his hair obscure his eyes and face.

It wasn't like he hadn't beaten all of them at those games, or even not beaten them often….but it wasn't like he could turn of his brain. Well not since the Dilaudid, anyway.

No. No. He was three years clean. And he…he'd better go to a meeting tonight. He fingered the sobriety medal in his pocket. Reid used it as sort of touch stone when he was stressed.

When he was certain that all the various eyes were off of him, he made his way up to get coffee and then he sat back down at the table, but this time scooted himself all the way to the window, and he pretended to be preoccupied with the view

He was surrounded by profilers. Too move too much would be way too obvious a tell for some of them.

What was he doing here? He should just go back to Cal Tech. He hadn't had this problem here. But then again maybe he had. Maybe it was just everybody pretending to understand him.

Or Vegas. He could go back to Vegas. Everyone was weird there. It wasn't like he'd stand out there. Plus, it would be warm there.

He closed his eyes against the longing, and let the sunlight wash over his features. The sun through the plane window was a pale imitation of the Vegas stuff he had been raised on, but it helped a little.

Raised in the desert, Reid was always cold in Virginia. He was always cold period. Hence the layers that he routinely covered himself in. He wouldn't need all the clothes there.

Maybe he should just go back. He could list at least a dozen school and think tanks that would fight over him. He wouldn't hurt for money.

But it probably wouldn't be different there either. It was the same everywhere he went. No one understood him. Everyone thought he was annoying.

He'd found respect at the FBI. Well he thought he had, but if he annoyed even his best friends. What was the point, really.

He was unable to hold back the small sigh this time as he settled his face in the sun and wished for something else.

* * *

Hotch was curious. In the five years that he'd known Reid, he'd never known the man not to read when he had down times, especially if he was awake during a plane ride. But Reid was not reading. He was staring out the window.

In fact….

Hotch looked closer.

Reid's body was carefully relaxed, leaned back. Calm. Everything that Reid typically was not. He was not jittery, fidgeting, or bouncing in his seat. He was not awkward.

It was the perfect picture of someone at ease, relaxed, not a care in the world.

Everything Reid had never been.

Something had to be wrong.

It was too…constructed.

He had to give Reid credit though, the facade was perfect. No one who didn't really know Reid would suspect. No one would even see that there was anything there to see.

But Hotch knew Reid.

And as he watched the smaller man, Hotch saw Reid swallow and shift his weight, glance at his lap. Ah something had mad him uncomfortable. Hotch looked around the plane. Nearly everyone was chuckling to themselves. Ah, most likely a joke at Reid's expense. . probably about his brains, or his awkwardness.

Reid never really understood good natured ribbing. None of the team meant anything by it, everyone loved Reid. But Reid hadn't been raised with it, and often took it personally.

The Star puzzle Emily had been working on was completed in front of her. Hotch had long ago accepted that no one who wasn't Reid was going to be able to complete it. Well, it looked like Reid had completed it.

That had probably annoyed Emily a bit, and she'd probably snapped at Reid for it.

Of all his team, Reid was the most in need of protecting… well, no that wasn't right. Reid wasn't weak. He wasn't less capable. He could definitely handle himself.

He was the youngest, however. And in many ways, the most vulnerable.

And he wasn't an alpha male which made him nearly unique on the team. Well, technically Emily wasn't an an alpha male, but she was an alpha.

And with the possible exception of Hotch himself Reid had been the most hurt since they'd all started this job. Reid had been kidnapped, tortured, and nearly killed when Tobias Hankle took him, and only a few months ago, he'd been shot through the knee and he still had trouble getting around from that.

Reid tended to get hurt a lot. It made them all a bit…protective.

Reid was one of the first off the plane, which was unusual given how much trouble he was still having with his leg. He usually waited for the others to go ahead, so that he wouldn't slow anyone down. His knee had to be hurting him though, for he was leaning heavily on the oak cane he'd brought along for the trip. Despite the cane, Reid was making furious progress across the tarmac and Hotch had to jog to catch up to him. Whatever was wrong, it had to be hurting Reid a lot for the knee not to register.

Damn. He'd have to deal with this now. Then again, it wasn't like Hotch had anything to hurry home to. Jack was Jessica's tonight, and he'd already made arrangements to pick up the boy tomorrow morning, so as not to disturb his rest tonight.

"Reid," Hotch shouted. "Wait a minute." He pulled up beside the younger man. Reid stopped, spinning toward him on his good leg. The movement caused the ever present messenger bag to fly outward, and Reid had to take an awkward step forward in order to stop himself from falling over. Irritation radiated from his every pore.

"What do you want, Hotch?" he said.

"I was going to offer you a ride. I know that it can't be easy for you taking the subway with that." Hotch nodded toward the cane.

"Thanks, but no thanks," Reid said spinning away. "I"m not really in the mood for company."

Hotch reached out and grabbed the strap of the messenger bag, and this time Reid did overbalance on the bad knee, and Hotch had to catch him awkwardly by the hips to prevent him from toppling over. Reid exploded, "Hotch, what the hell—"

"Reid, please. It's late," he said, gently. "I'll worry. Let me know you got home safely." Hotch let Reid see the tension that he was carrying in his shoulders, allowed the other man to see his exhaustion and his stress. He was hopeful that a little bit of guilt and compassion would get Reid to agree. Hotch did not want to have this conversation here, where anyone could overhear, he wanted to get Reid alone for a little.

Hotch could see the tension building in Reid, the anger rising behind the eyes. "Please. Reid. Let me take you home."

Reid stared at Hotch's eyes a while, and then he must have found what he was looking for, and he dropped his gaze and swallowed again. "Okay."

Hotch nodded bag, allowing his sigh of relief to show in the relaxing of his shoulders. He knew Reid would be able to see it there.

He put Reid and Reid's bag in the car, and walked around to put himself in the driver's seat.

When they were safely pulling out, Hotch looked over at Reid.

The other man still radiated tension. His body posture was stiff and closed. Trying to remove himself from the situation, to put up a wall. Reid's hand was wrapped tightly around his cane, with his other hand wrapped in the strap of his messenger bag. The knuckles of both hands were white. Still staring at his lap, not making eye contact. Still tense. Still upset.

Still questioning his place. Well, Hotch could fix that.

"Reid, I don't know what happened on the plane, but I need you to know that you are an incredibly important member of this team. I actually like your little rants. Your skills, your mind, your compassion….you, Reid. You are…invaluable…to us. To me."

Reid's startled eyes looked up into Hotch's. Reid's mouth was slightly open. "Hotch." He'd shocked Reid into silence. That did happen often. Hotch was almost proud of himself for that.

"Hotch, you don't have to…." Reid began, but trailed off.

"Reid, I'm not finished yet, and you are just going to have to deal with it. I know you have been questioning yourself and your role here, but please….don't. Just don't," Hotch continued.

Reid blushed and looked down. But as he looked up through his lashes, Hotch was able to catch his eye.

"You are irreplaceable. And I would not have you any way but what what you are."

Reid looked up shyly, as thought afraid to believe it.

"Irreplaceable" Hotch said again. "Vital. Important. We need you." He waited while Reid considered his words.

"Okay," said Reid, so quietly Hotch almost did not hear him. "Okay."

Hotch smiled at Reid, nodding gently. "Good." From the corner of his eye, Hotch saw some of the tension creep out of Reid, as he loosened his tight body language and started to relax. He watch Reid stretch out a hand toward the air vent, turned up the heat a little, and saw Reid smile and duck his head in thanks.

As Hotch watched the other man relax, it occurred to him that Reid was also going home to an empty room. Maybe they both could use some company. "How would you feel about Chinese for dinner?" he asked.

Reid's blinding smile was answer enough for Hotch to turn the car around.


End file.
